Empty shell of once a beautiful life,

sadness reminisces of your existence. 

I who cut your wings with these hands,

Remember your beauty and crying sorrow.

Empty heart whose eyes won’t look at me anymore,

I dissected you like butterfly with my forceful affection

I love you so, that I couldn’t bear for you to depart from me.

My love wasn’t enough?

Did I forcefully destroy your dreams?

Madness, desire, love, jealousy, frustration

Wanting to love you I crush you,

Forgive me for this overbearing love,

who didn’t know how to love you.

Cynthia Aguayo 

 

Crust

3 cups all purpose flour

2 Tablespoons sugar

¾ Teaspoon salt

1 cup (2 sticks) of cold unsalted butter, cut into ¼ inch pieces

½ cup cold water

 

Put the salt, flour and sugar in a food processor; pulse it several times to mix them well. Remove the lid and add 1 ½ cups of butter, pulse it 5 or 6 times. Remove the lid again and with a fork fluff the mixture; add the remaining butter, and pulse again 6 or 7 times. Remove the lid again, and fluff with the fork; add ½ of the water and pulse 5 or 6 times. Removed the lid fluff the pastry and add the rest of the water and pulse again 5 or 6 times. The pastry looks like big on even crumbs. Make two ball one a bit bigger than the other; the bigger one would be your bottom shell. Knead each ball ones or twice then flatten the balls into ¾ inch disks on a floured work surface. Wrap them in plastic and refrigerate for at least  1 hour before rolling.

Filling

8 cups of peeled, cored and sliced apples

½ cup firmly packed light brown sugar

2 ½ Tablespoons all purpose flour

¼ teaspoon of ground cinnamon

3 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice

2 Tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut in to small pieces

 

In a bowl mix the apples, sugar, flour, cinnamon and lemon juice.

Get the pastry from the fridge and star rolling the bigger ball and place it on a large pie ball poor the apple mix onto the shell carefully trying to even the mix on the shell. Add the butter on top of the mixture.

Now roll the other ball in to a rectangle about 12 by 10 inches long. Using a pizza cutter cut strips of 1 ¼ inch wide by 12 inches long. Place 5 strips vertically. Then fold the 2^nd and 4^th strip and place one strip horizontally on top of the other 3. Now unfold the 2 fold strips then fold strips 1, 3, 5 and place another strip on top of strips 2 and 4. Just do this until you have all strips place in place. Brush some milk on the strips and sprinkle sugar on top.

Preheat oven to 400 F and bake the pie on this temperature for 20 min.  After the 20 min. lower the temp to 375 F and let the pay bake for about 45 to 50 min. until it is golden brown and you can see some bubbling from the filling.


 

I guess when someone feel depress and the love is dying as well, there isn't much we can do, not to feel like some is dying as well.

My heart is bleeding and I can't stop it
I see how my life goes away and can't stop it
My heart is bleeding and my life is ending
my eyes are closing and my love with them
it has to many stab wounds that it can't heal itself
my heart is bleeding and you are seeing my love die
I see you with my eyes who are closing and my love as well
My heart is bleeding, and I can't stop it
you have taken everything away.

I've being so busy that I haven't had time to write anything here, haha. this year has been a good year for me. My husband got a great job, my twins will start school in September, and the most important thing I'm a year older. Yes I'm proud to say that I had live a great life for 32 years. This year I also got a lot of presents from my siblings, grandmother, husband and friends. Finally, I got a bunch of flowers even from my children this year.  I've being working on a lot of projects lately, that makes me so happy. Well, I'll continue writing some other time now is time to go to sleep.

I'm so happy finally I'm starting to build my journal. I can't wait to see the final result. It has been a very interesting day. I guess the bad weather has being very important factor on my activities today. I'll continue working on it tomorrow right now I'll be going to sleep.